My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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