You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
