I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize