i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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