TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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