I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
