I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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