when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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