Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
