I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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