Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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