He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
