My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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