Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
