I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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