loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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