I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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