physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
