Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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