I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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