i barfeds in our rink
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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