Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize