Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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