You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
