Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
