I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
