he puts the penis in happiness.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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