Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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