I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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