Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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