Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I will be naked everywhere
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
