If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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