The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
