i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she was so not down for the gang bang
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
