he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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