You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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