Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
