God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize