She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
