ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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