I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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