considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize