we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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