dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
