You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
