I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
