when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
