can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize