Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
