This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
