No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
