can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
