Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
