when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
