every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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