i permit you to call me
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
