We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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