Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
