You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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