you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize