i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
