fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize