I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I am available for nakedness
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
