I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You have to summon your inner elephant
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
