I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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