Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
