Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
