they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
